Asking for Disaster
by Ayanami00
Summary: What the hell happened to the characters we all know and love?!


"Asking for Disaster "

By Rei-chan (Ayanami00)

Bulmagurl2u@dbzmail.com

All characters from this Neon Genesis Evangelion (Shin Seiki Evangelion) fanfic belong to their rightful owners at Gainax and all those who is associated with Evangelion.

****

Asking for Disaster

__

Ding! Ding! Ding! The sound of an alarm clock goes off as Rei rushes into the kitchen. A thick gray layer of smoke from the oven floats slowly upwards toward the ceiling. A faint light from the red-hot oven shines dully. Dressed in a small black tank top with dark blue shorts, the blue-haired girl trips over a fallen chair.

****

Rei: Geez! Where did that come from? There wasn't a chair in here yesterday! Where did that table come from? I swear....

She slowly gets up from the cold damp floor and gently rubs her behind. Struggling to see through the thick air, she reaches her hands out hoping that they can guide her to the oven.

****

Rei: OUCH! That is SO hot! What is it?

****

A male voice: It is the toaster. You should know where your appliances are Ayanami.

****

Rei: Who are you? I know who you are! You are a stalker! I have to call the police! …Where's the telephone!

****

Male voice: Oh, calm down already. Can you be any louder? It's just me, little girl.

Rei recognizes this voice. Oh, she knows this voice all too well. It belongs to a 5'8" tall, black hair, and brown eyed boy, known for his laziness. His name…his name is Shinji Ikari, the one and only.

****

Shinji: You make more noise than Sana Kurata from _Kodomo no Omocha_. Man, I never thought anyone can talk more than Sana…but then there is you.

Barely seeing his shadow through the smoke from the oven, Rei grabs the hot toaster in her hand and hurls it toward him.

****

Rei: You are just sick! No wonder you are still single. No girl would ever go out with a lazy bum like you. You do not know how to treat a lady. Look at you! How did you get into my apartment anyway? I surely did not let you in.

****

Shinji: Blah, blah, blah. How many times have I heard this speech already? The landlord let me in for your information. He thinks that I am your boyfriend because he saw that I have a present for you.

She hobbles over to where she thinks he is and feels for a chair. She finally spots him getting up from the table. The smoke starts to clear out as he opens two windows in the kitchen.

****

Shinji: What the heck are you making this time?

****

Rei: Well…umm…

Her mind drifts off as she watches the smoke clear out. She continues to feel for a chair. Finally, her foot kicks a chair leg.

****

Rei: Ah ha! A chair! …. AH!

****

Shinji: Well well…I didn't know you feel this way about me, Ayanami.

The sound of the front door slamming is quite loud. A faint giggle from a female voice sounds. The girl peeks into the kitchen.

****

Girl: Oh my…what are you two doing? You know what…I do not really want to know. It is none of my business. If you must show affection, there is something called a bedroom, you know.

****

Rei: It's not what you think it is!

****

Girl: Oh, it is exactly what I'm thinking…

Without realizing that Shinji has already returned to his seat, Ayanami sits on Shinji's lap facing him.

****

Shinji: Oh lookie see. Asuka's back from her little shopping trip to the mall. How convenient…

Standing 5'4" inches, with strawberry red hair and blue eyes, is the illustrious Asuka Langley Soryu. With shopping bags in hand, she marches over to the loudmouthed boy.

****

Asuka: Now who do you think YOU are. I know that First Child didn't let you in so get out already. You are trespassing on our property. You got that? OUR property…oh I know why you're here. Lemme guess, your roommate kicked you out of the apartment again so you came here for something to eat. Am I right?

****

Shinji: …so, what if he kicks me out again. He's just a lunatic anyway. I need to get away for while.

****

Rei: And you come here?!

She hops out of his laps and onto the floor. Little did she know that there is a small marble left on the floor when she took them out yesterday to show Asuka. She accidentally sets her foot down on it; out of all the places, she can step. She tries to regain her balance but falls flat on her back.

****

Asuka: Dummkopf…geez…

She gives a little smile and heads out the kitchen up to her room.

****

Shinji: Heh, how boring is she? Now tell me where you were making in the oven. It did smell good until smoke started coming from it.

****

Rei: Since you were in the room, why didn't you turn it off?

****

Shinji: Because it is not my house, and it is not my food that is burning.

****

Rei: You really are an idiot! What happens if the apartment started burning? Would you do anything then?

****

Shinji: Uh…leave? Speaking of leaving, I gotta go. See ya around.

****

Rei: Wait! I didn't give you your present yet!

She walks slowly to the oven with Shinji following just a few feet behind. She takes the cooling cake that she was baking and slaps it into his hands.

****

Rei: Here you go! Good bye!!

****

Shinji: Yeah…good bye…whatever…heh…

Making his way to the kitchen door, he turns back to see Ayanami standing near the blackened oven, smiling happily.

__

Splat! Suddenly, the whole burned cake is all over Shinji's clothes. Opening the door all the way, Asuka can see what has just happened.

****

Asuka: I am SO sorry Ikari! I didn't know that you're behind the door. I guess I should have knocked first. Anyway, that cake does look good on you.

****

Shinji: Right…whatever…

He slowly walks out of the kitchen with burnt cake dropping here and there from his clothing.

****

Shinji: I come here to visit and this is what I get.

The faint voices of Rei and Asuka trails all the way to the front door.

****

Shinji: Oh shut your yapping already….

With that, he opens the front door and steps outside. A bird that accidentally flew inside parches on top of the doorframe. With a flap of its wings, it pooped on Shinji's shoulder. 

****

Shinji: GAWD!! This apartment must have a curse on it or something! Bad luck even just outside!

With that, he runs down the hallway to his apartment, his roommate has locked him out of.

******

__

Well I hope you enjoyed this fanfic. One of my friends really like the way I portrayed Rei IV in "Dreams of Children Part 3 – My Ayanami-san" so he wanted me to write some more about her. Well this is the product of that. I really hope that you have enjoyed it, and please write a review for it if you have some time.

Arigatou,

Rei-chan (Ayanami00)

******


End file.
